Fever
by hyper13
Summary: Home sick, Derek realizes that he doesn't want to live a life with regrets and it's time to confess. Dasey fluff.


Being sick was the worst. Nothing good is ever on TV during the day, you don't have the energy to do anything fun, and on top of being bored, you feel shitty. Derek has a legit excuse to be home, and he can't even fully enjoy it.

With a sigh, he squinted at the host of the talk show that was currently on the screen.

He usually didn't watch these kinds of shows. The thing was, Derek was getting tired of flipping through the channels. He stopped the TV on an interesting looking commercial, and by the time the talk show came on, Derek had lost the remote and didn't want to get up to look for it.

Casey watches the show sometimes. It's one of those talk shows that, surprisingly, has a funny host. He doesn't recall the name of the show or the host, but he's passed by when Casey has had it on their shared television. Derek had even gotten caught up in an episode or two when she had a guest on that he liked. Typically, though, he didn't watch this stuff.

Today, however, he was sick, and he'd lost the remote, and it was on. So, he didn't change the channel when the host stood on the stage, addressing the audience, even though he could tell that she was getting emotional. By the time her face and eyes got red, and he could see the tears welling in her eyes, Derek didn't want to change the channel.

A famous hockey player had died in a tragic accident the day before. It had been all over the news. It had also been her birthday, and there was other stuff going on in the entertainment world that Derek didn't particularly care for or understand. "Yesterday was meant to be a day of celebration," the host continued, eyes welling up. "But life is short. We don't know how many birthdays we have, how many holidays, or how many days. You don't have to have a birthday to celebrate." Derek snorted; he could find any reason to celebrate. "Celebrate life, enjoy each day you've been given." He started looking for the remote. "Hug your family, your friends. If you haven't told someone you love them, do it today."

Here, Derek paused.

Derek had long ago come to terms with his feelings for Casey. He was in denial for a long time, refused it to be true, but eventually, it became too hard to ignore. When they went off to Queen's and spent more time together without their family, it became time to accept his life for what it is: one big, cosmic joke, a life where he's in love with the one person he can't have.

The thing was, though, he hadn't told her. He didn't plan on ever telling her. Now, here was some stranger on the television, reminding him of his mortality. Maybe Derek didn't plan on cluing Casey in on his feelings, but would he regret it if he didn't?

He fell asleep to the sounds of the host on his television, telling him to pick up the phone and make the most of the life he has. Fell asleep thinking about what his life would turn out like if he never told Casey how he felt.

In his dream, Casey was wearing white. She smiled a little sadly at Derek in his tux as she passed him down the aisle to stand next to some other loser in love with her. He'd have to watch her get married.

In his dream, Casey was holding a child. She had Casey's dark hair and big blue-green eyes. He'd have to watch her build a family.

In his dream, Casey is eighty years old sitting across from him, playing cards with weathered, wrinkled hands. There's no ring on her left hand, not anymore, and he knows that the husband is now dead. "I love you, you know," dream Casey says. "I've always loved you. I think, looking back, we could have maybe figured things out, if we'd been brave enough. It would have been okay." He'd have to watch her regret the life that she led because neither of them could speak up.

In his dream, he stands next to the casket. He feels broken. Burying his mom had been hard. Burying Nora had been harder. Burying his dad had been the hardest. Burying Casey? That was impossible. He'd have to watch her die, knowing he could have shared a more fulfilled life with her.

Derek woke to a cold hand touching his forehead. He started awake, staring up at a pair of concerned blue eyes. "Casey?" He croaked. It had been a dream. Derek knew it had been a dream. It had passed by so quickly, but it had felt so real watching her slip away from him.

"How are you feeling?" Her cheeks were flushed from the cold, and her hair was a little wild from the wind. Derek allowed himself a fond smile at the appearance. "Feels like you've still got a bit of a fever," she continued.

"Casey. I love you."

Her hands froze from where she was fussing with the blanket, gaze avoiding him. "You need to rest. I'll get you some soup." She stood.

Desperately, Derek grabbed at her wrist. "Casey. I love you."

"Yes, yes." She was still avoiding his gaze as she gently patted his hand and pried her wrist free. "I know you're very thrilled to have someone here to take care of you."

"But-"

She cut him off, hurrying off into the kitchen. Derek slumped back into the couch. It was possible she didn't love him. Maybe he'd read too much into their interactions in the past years, coloring it with his hopes and dreams, projecting his feelings for Casey back at him. Still, Casey needed to understand that he loved her and not as a person that's taking care of him while he's sick.

He fell asleep before he could persuade himself to go after Casey and make her understand.

Several hours later, she's sitting on the floor by the couch watching TV with the subtitles on. It takes him a second to realize she's watching that way so that the sound wouldn't disturb him while he slept. His soup is gone, and he vaguely remembers Casey waking him up to eat some before he went back into a feverish dream. Now, he's warm from the blankets rather than the fever, the body aches are mostly gone, and he's craving solid food. The most Casey will let him have will probably be toast, but Derek knows the worst of his sickness is over. "Casey." His throat is dry and his voice raspy, but she hears him, turning on the floor to face him.

"Hey," she smiled.

Derek returned the gesture, sitting up. She handed him a bottle of water, and he took several small sips before she can yell at him for chugging the thing. "Thanks," he said, setting it aside.

She shifted to get up to a stand. "No problem. You look like you're feeling better."

"I am." He rolled his eyes but sat still as she felt his forehead.

"Fever is gone." She beamed at him. "Keep drinking fluids, try some toast this evening for dinner, and hopefully it stays gone overnight."

He held up his crossed fingers. "Here's hoping." Tugging on her wrist, he pulled her onto the couch. Derek twisted to face her. "Casey, I have to talk to you."

"Is this about what you said earlier?"

He blinked but nodded. "Yeah."

She nodded, too. "Look, I know how you feel about that stuff, so consider it forgotten. I get you were feverish." She moved to stand, but he pulled her back down.

"No, Casey."

"I won't tell anyone," she continued. "Promise. You don't have to- I don't want-." She huffed out a breath. "I know you weren't-." Pinching the bridge of her nose and squeezing her eyes shut, she managed in a small voice, "I don't want to hear you take it back. I just. I can't."

Smiling at her fondly, Derek pulled her hands away from her face. "Casey, I love you. Not the feel-good family way that my dad would like. I'm in love with you. Head over heels, deal with the tears, love. I mean, I won't be a pushover like most of your boyfriends, and I have way more personality than Max will dream of having, but. We're good together, Case, and you challenge me. You make me want to be a better person. I was prepared to go through my whole life without ever telling you because I worried about what it might do to our friendship and our family. Still, life is so short, and I thought you deserved to know-why are you crying?" At some point during his speech, Casey had started sniffling. Derek stared at her, slightly horrified. "I know I just said I'd deal with tears, but I didn't mean right this second!"

"You said you loved me."

"Yes," Derek said, nervously.

She sniffed. "Your fever is gone, and you still said you loved me."

Sighing, Derek gathered her in his arms and hugged her to his chest. "You're insane," he said, fond.

"And you still love me," she sobbed into his shirt. It's fine. His shirt needed a wash anyway.

"Yes, I do."

He let her cry for several minutes before he gently nudged her back to a sitting position. "Alright. Go ahead and get it over with."

She wrinkled her nose in confusion. "Get what over with?"

"The list of reasons why I shouldn't love you, the rejection, the long-winded but very polite way of you telling me you don't feel the same way."

"Derek," she gave a water giggle, wiping at her eyes.

"I mean. I tell you I love you, and you spend several minutes crying all over me, so I know that can only mean one thing, but I also know you, and you're going to want to talk about it. Closure." He said it like it was a dirty word, and she laughed again.

"Okay," she said, squaring her shoulders. Now Derek realized that he had not thought this through, but best to just get it over with. "I love you, too."

"I-what?"

"I mean, you're right. There are probably a lot of reasons why we shouldn't be together, but. It feels so good to just let that off my chest, Emily has been pushing me to confess it to you for years."

"Casey, you just cried all over my shirt."

"I'm an emotional person," she sniffed. "Happy tears. Earlier I thought. I don't know that you didn't know it was me, or that you were saying it in a different way." Suddenly her comment that she couldn't hear him take it back made a lot more sense. "You had a lot of medication, and you were feverish."

"So, you were crying because you were happy?" Casey nodded, and Derek shook his head. "Insanity."

She laughed and hugged him again. "I love you," she whispered, and his heart swelled. Derek sighed, content. They would figure it out, the same way they tackled all other problems that opposed them. Together.

"I love you, too."

Maybe being sick wasn't all bad.

* * *

**A/N: I was inspired by a brief clip I saw of Ellen after the news of Kobe Bryant. She said something along the lines of what I have here about telling someone you love today, and I immediately thought of this pair. Make sure your loved ones know you care. Happy reading.**

**For those who read Ground Rules and were disappointed it was a single chapter, after much encouragement I'm working on a second (final) chapter. Stay tuned!**


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